The Noises I Heard Today

Dear Diary,

No pukes this morning. I woke late to the muffled ramblings of Daddy saying something about waking up, and Mama replying with something about getting a Diet Coke with Splenda before she hurls.

From there, it was the truck, and Mama talking. As I dozed off, I kept being stirred awake by something pushing my head down into my knees. I had found a pretty comfortable position, which isn't easy with what I'm working with, but every time I laid my head back, there was another push, and I kept stretching my legs, but they kept bouncing back at me; knees in the face again. Mama kept saying, "Get out of my ribs. Get off of my bladder." I didn't get it. This went on for forty-five minutes.

The day went on, and after a solid nap, I woke up to very important news. I'm bustin' out! Not quite, but I am scheduled for release. The doctor told Mama it would be November 16 at 7 a.m. Now, even though I'm not sure what a November is, and even though 7 a.m. is way extremely much too early for me, Mama thought this was good news, and so I do too. Later, Daddy had a talk with me about how I better have all the fun that I can in here now because I've only got three weeks left. I tried to tell him not to worry, I'm right-handed, but I don't think he heard me.

Bedtime. But not until I listen one more time for Mama begging Daddy for a piece of chocolate, and then laughing when she steals one before she brushes her teeth, right after she checks her sugar.